A Good Woman

It's always interesting to take a step back after conference and see if there is a 'theme' to the talks. After the last session, a friend and I seemed to notice the same thing: the divine role of mothers. I haven't had the chance to watch all of the second session on Saturday yet (yay for a DVR or on the Church Website), but there seemed to be a lot of talks focusing on the roles of parents, especially mothers. I look forward to re-reading the messages (available tomorrow on the Church website), but the one which stuck out to me the most when watching was Sister Beck's talk on Saturday morning. I just want to mention three things she said:

A good woman knows all good things cannot be finished: we are not striving to be perfect, just the best we can be. It's okay to let things go. Something I need to remind myself daily.

The single most important skill a mother can have is learning how to understand personal revelation: We don't just receive revelation for ourselves; if we know how to listen to the spirit, he can guide us to be better wives, mothers, and sisters to each other.

When we do our best, we may have disappointments, but we won't be disappointed in ourselves: Things on this earth will never go according to plan because our mortal minds have a hard time grasping the eternal picture. Strive to do your best because i's really all that's asked of us.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to listen to the Lord's messengers on the earth. These are scriptures for our day--- revelation for our time. I just hope and pray that we (including me) all heed their words because they are the words of the Lord.

Relief Society

One of the things I am most grateful for is the Relief Society organization. I love being able to meet together with women that are, have been, or will be in my similar situation. Women who believe and know what I do and use that knowledge to live their lives. I learn and grow each time I participate in anything RS related. I get the same feeling from this blog as well.

Anyway, I started thinking about RS because the Church website is at it again. They have revamped the RS home page (click here) to explain more about RS, what we do at each meeting, and how we can be better members of Relief Society.

I love this sisterhood. I mainly what to remind us all how important RS is for the church and us as individuals. First off, remember the church was not complete without the organization of the RS. We can serve like no one else can because we are the ultimate nurturers. Second, no matter what your calling is in the church you are always a member of Relief Society. Heavenly Father knows how important his daughters are and provides His support through Relief Society and other sisters.

I encourage us all to explore the new site to help us better understand at least one aspect of Relief Society. I'm grateful to be a woman, daughter of God and Relief Society member---and I hope to be better each day at all of these! :) Happy early Thanksgiving!

Don't Quite Have It All Together?

This has been an incredible week. I have had a lot of learning, and have so many different topics I would like to share! But, I tend to be a little long winded, so I am going to post only one of the many, and leave my thoughts with it.

A while back I found a blog called Diapers and Divinity. A wonderfully inspired and insightful woman writes about being a mother, and how even the mundane things have a spiritual side to them. She always makes me happy and makes me think (She also hosts a General Conference Book Club every Monday, if you want to check that out).

Earlier this week Jeffrey and I were joking about who has the harder job; him as provider for our family, or me as the SAHM. In the midst of our banter I said something that actually had me thinking for a while after. I had said "As a woman I have far more demands than you. You just have to be a good provider, be there for me emotionally, and be a good dad for our kids. I have to keep a perfectly clean house, provide healthy yet tasty meals, magnify my calling, be crafty, be slender, be successful, always be happy, teach Keith to read before he is in Kindergarten... and so much more. I will trade you places any day."

And then I realized. We as women really do have too many demands to fulfill. Whether we place them upon ourselves (as I do) or we allow society to place them upon our shoulders, we are far too heavy laden with demands on our time and talents.

Simplify is the key here. But more than that, looking to the Savior. In Stephanie's post she wrote about a few examples in the NT where people go before Christ not quite having it all, but having their best. And it is enough. Go and read her post. It is worth it. It will make you feel good inside, and make you happy, I promise. She is wonderful and you wont regret it.

Hugs!
Amy

Re-defining Moments

I love how so many talks in Conference can be specific to our own individual needs. Every year there is a talk that was given directly to me. I know everyone says that, which shows that the Lord knows our needs and desires. With His Spirit he can touch our hearts and teach us the things we need to learn. If we have prepared ourselves and are teachable we can grow in unexpected ways.

I was going to share with you all what I had learned, but for some reason it is feeling a little too personal. I am not one to air my dirty laundry in public and sharing what the Lord taught me would be a little too personal so I am going to have to take this a different direction.

I want to talk about the importance and beautiful calling we have as mothers. There are so many women in the world who talk about motherhood as being a burden or a chain. Being a SAHM is cumbersome and keeps them from growing and progressing. Their children are loved but are also seen as a weight and a nusiance. I know that sometimes I fall into that roll a little bit. I would never trade being home with my son for anything in the world, but there are days when I only see the hard part of it. I miss adult interaction. I miss going out and dancing or reading a book or going to the mountains and just relaxing by a stream. I cannot do that now. My life is full of picture books, playing trucks on demand and coloring. I forget the beauty of having this life.

And then I got to watch Oprah (not a normal occurrence, I assure you. This was a special occasion) the other day. Stephanie and Christian Nielson were on. A woman who hated being a SAHM got to spend the day with Stephanie and her whole outlook on motherhood changed.


Following the inspiration that Stephanie inspires, I re-read this talk on her blog. It is so wonderful in helping us redefine our roles as mothers and wives. Rarely do we understand the great power and influence we have on the world.

"Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness. To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women. "

I find that as I re-read and reapply these teachings and examples I become a better mother and wife, and my home is so much happier and full of the Spirit. I encourage you all to do the same thing. Take a few moments in quiet meditation and prayer and re-define your part of the great plan our Father has for us. As you do this you will be blessed with a testimony of your divinity and your ability to do all that you promised you would do here. More than that, you will be able to find hidden talents to help you in your calling as a wife and mother.

The Influence of a Righteous Woman

Yesterday our home teacher came over and gave us the message for this month. It is by Elder Uchtdorf and is titled, "The Influence of Righteous Women". It is a really wonderful message to read, so make sure you read it! There is a quote from President Grant that says,
"Without the devotion and absolution testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die."

The article talks a lot about the little things that we women do, thinking that they are so inconsequential, but we don't seem to know that everything we do makes a big difference. One of Satan's big tactics is to convince us that we don't make a difference to anyone, no matter what we say or do. But really we can prove him wrong by simply putting our creative skills to use, or calling someone to see how they are doing, or any number of things where we reach out to others.

I feel like this message has something for everyone. If you are like me, and struggle to think that anything you do makes a difference to anyone- this message is for you. Or if you are the overachiever who feels like there is so much to be done and that you will never succeed at helping everyone, this message is for you. Or if you have any other misnomers about your special purpose and heritage as a woman in the church, this article is for you!

My home teacher shared a personal observation with us that I want to pass along. He said there were two families he knew who came together when, in one of them the husband went inactive and a bit nuts and the other one had the wife go inactive and a bit nuts. The active husband and the active wife met each other from the two separate families, got married and joined their families together. This brought together many children who were quite different. What he noted, however, was that the active mother's children were very active in the church. But the active father's children were all inactive in the church. He used this story to explain how important a mother's testimony is in the home for her children.

After hearing this story, I thought- yeah true, but the father can make a big difference too. I remember learning about this in my religion classes at BYU. But I guess that was not the point of the message in this month's Ensign. So, therefore let us embrace the divinity within ourselves and seek to reach our true potentials and influence others for the good.

Finding Joy in Womanhood

Before I begin, I really quickly want to say how much I love love love all the citations from the Book of Mormon that have been posted this week. I really have a love and respect for these scriptures and find such joy that you all do too.

I apologize for not posting last week. I didn't exactly forget as much as I had a really hard time last week feeling inspired enough to write something to all of you whom I have grown to know and admire without having it feel contrite. But this week I did want to share some thoughts with you this week.

Ever since I graduated high school I have been offered amazing jobs and opportunities one after another. I work with a lot of really successful and motivated women and have had mentors that have directed me towards a successful future in whatever career I end up in. I find a lot of joy in what I do, but despite all these things I find that the future I most look forward to is being a wife and mother. I never realized all the potential that I have in myself until I saw it through the eyes of my husband.

I know it's hard to be a woman, especially now as I am a wife, full-time student and breadwinner. Unfortunately, I've taken quite a few "poor me" moments within the last couple of months. But when I look back at all I've had to handle, I know more than ever that I have been prepared as a choice daughter of God to be in this situation at this moment for a purpose greater than I truly understand.

Our current general relief society president, Julie B. Beck, has talked quite a bit lately about cherishing our roles as daughters of the divine:

“I have a testimony gained from pondering and studying the scriptures of a plan of happiness given to us by our Father in Heaven. That plan has a part for His daughters. We have the female half to take care of, and if we don’t do our part, no one else is going to do it for us. The half of our Father’s plan that creates life, that nurtures souls, that promotes growth, that influences everything else was given to us. We can’t delegate it. We can’t pass it off to anyone. It’s ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it’s still our part, and we’re accountable for it. There will come a day when we will all remember what we knew before we were born. We will remember that we fought in a great conflict for this privilege. How do we meet this responsibility? We daily put our energies into the work that is uniquely ours to do.”

“Latter-day Saint women must be strong and immovable in their faith. They can and should excel in living and sharing their testimonies of the Lord Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. We do this as we:

“1. Make and keep covenants with Him.

“2. Are worthy and worship in His temples.

“3. Study His doctrine in the scriptures and the words of prophets.

“4. Qualify for, recognize, and follow the Holy Ghost.

“5. Share and defend His gospel.

“6. Participate in sincere personal and family prayer.

“7. Have family home evening.

“8. Live principles of self-reliance and provident living.

“These are essential things which must be done before nonessential things. These are simple, indispensable practices that almost seem mundane. … No one can do these things for us—these are personal practices and habits that set us apart as strong and immovable for that which is correct” (“What Latter-day Saint Women Do Best: Stand Strong and Immovable,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2007, 109–10)

My prayer for all of us is two-fold, one that we can, as women, will take care of ourselves with the love that our Heavenly Father cares for us and, two, that we will have the discernment and patience with ourselves to know what is essential and what is not. Make time to enjoy being a woman.

Priesthood & Women

On Sunday, my brother received the Melchizedek Priesthood; and we were lucky enough to be there. I had a my own 'tender mercy' of the week as I witnessed my brother make a sacred oath and covenant with God in order to perform in His name on the earth. How amazing is that; if every worthy male lives up to their end of the covenant, they have the power to act in the name of God. As if he were on the earth today. As I sat there thinking about the priesthood holders' role; I wanted to be reminded of my role.

As LDS women, we seem to be bombarded with attacks having to do with the patriarchal order (the word sometimes used is domination) of the church. Questions are posed: Why don't women hold the priesthood? Shouldn't they be treated equally and given the chance to do so? Why are women encouraged to stay home? And, my personal favorite, aren't you wasting your life?

I found two articles written on the subject, one is by Elder Dallin H. Oaks called Priesthood Authority in the Family & Church; the other is A Women's Perspective on the Priesthood by Patricia T. Holland (FYI: wife of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland). They are both great reads, but I want to focus on Sister Holland's.

Sister Holland answers the first two questions by reminding us how we are all spiritually equally but it is our roles and responsibilities that make us different; and the difference does not exist just between men and women, but also each individual. She then says it is up to up to "live worthily enough to know step by step what the Lord’s will is regarding us," and that we do this through being "close to the Spirit through prayer, study, and righteous living," and personal revelation---our own liahona. The Lord expects this of all His children. Our mortal roles and obligations are different which means we each have different tools and talents to fulfill them; this principle is true regarding priesthood holders and women alike.

She then poses the question about our own rights (as women) through relating a story from Elder Oaks {the woman who was not a member of the church}:

[Elder] Oaks as a young law professor was closely associated with Justice Lewis M. Powell, now of the Supreme Court of the United States. Justice Powell’s daughter was herself a recent graduate of a fine law school, following which she began a very successful law practice and a marriage almost simultaneously. Some time thereafter she had her first child. In paying a courtesy call as a family friend, President Oaks was pleasantly surprised to find this young mother at home with her child full time. When asked of this decision the young woman replied, “Oh, I may go back to the law sometime but not now. For me the issue was simple. Anyone could take care of my clients, but only I can be the mother of this child.” What an incisive answer to an issue she says was simple! And it does seem to have been simple because she approached it, not in terms of rights, but first and foremost in terms of responsibilities. I think the issue would not have been so simple if her attitude had been, “It’s my career,” or “It’s my life.” But her concern was for her obligations. When considered that way, the issue and the answer were simple.

We all have rights and the freedom to pursue them. That much the Lord has promised us. I believe then, that the crucial point we need to come to as Latter-day Saint women is not to allow ourselves to feel forced into righteous choices, but to come to them of our own free and anxious will. Some of the pain and frustration and depression we hear about comes from feeling compelled or forced to make certain choices. We should seek diligently and prayerfully the light that would quicken our hearts and minds to truly desire the outcomes we make in righteous decisions. Our prayers ought to be to see as God sees, to adjust our minds so we may see things from an eternal perspective. If we listen too often to the voices of the world, we will become confused and tainted. We must anchor ourselves in the spirit and that requires daily vigilance."

The Lord loves us all and wants us to succeed and be happy with our mortal endeavors. He knows our true potential. Women are not under men because of the Priesthood; women are equal to and enhanced because of the Priesthood and the worthy Priesthood holders in their lives. We help these men live up to the oath and covenant they have made with God through supporting them and making our own righteous, unselfish choices.

We should not feel ashamed or like we're wasting away because of the righteous choices we make; if our choices are truly made in righteousness, then we have the tools to enhance our lives and make the situation better. I encourage each of us to pray to find our personal liahona, and if you've already found it, pray to keep it in your heart. If we fulfill our roles and responsibilities, the Lord will fulfill His side of the covenants we've made.

The Measure of Our Creation

Last year President Uchtdorf gave a talk to the women of the church. Since then it has been on my mind. He spoke of creation and creativity. I am just going to paraphrase some of it for you. He spoke of the many people who claim they have no creative ability (me! I am one of those people) and told us that we as children of God, the most creative being ever, do indeed have creativity, it is inherited from our Father.

"If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination."

But what is the big deal about being creative, right? Why is it so important that we are creating things? President Uchtdorf teaches

"But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fullness of joy.4 Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things."

And again, that brings us to people like me, seemingly void of all creative ability. He explained that creativity extends past the pen or paper or musical instrument.

"Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."

And my favorite quote of all:

"Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ.”6"

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Happiness, Your Heritage,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 117–20

D&C 88:119 teaches us to "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a ^bhouse, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;

I believe that part of that organizing ourselves is stretching and growing in ways that are new to us. We should be finding creative outlets and ways to beautify our surroundings and our very lives. One such way is by making our homes beautiful and harmonious.

Not only does creating things improve one's surroundings, it improves one's self. I think these words are very sage advice that we should try to live by for the sanity of ourselves and our families.

"Sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don't allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it."

M. Russell Ballard, "Daughters of God," Ensign, May 2008, 110