Friday, January 15, 2010

God Has Given Me...

Um...I don't even know where to begin after reading those last two posts...

Monday we received some very bad news. As my husband put it, "our little angel was not meant to come to earth at this time." It's been very hard to start out the week as a soon-to-be mama and to end it as a woman who had a miscarriage.

But I am so grateful for the lists of awesome things that God has done for my husband and I that I shared with you last week. Although I am filled with all kinds of anger and sadness right now, I still know that God is fighting for me. Nate and I have such great family, friends and workplaces that have been supportive and understanding at such an awful time. And although my prayers have been mostly tears this week, God has seen each and every one of them and is providing a way to wipe them all away.

If there were anyone who would know the pain of losing a loved one, it would be our loving Heavenly Father. He so loved the world He gave the world His Only Begotten Son that we might have eternal lives. He suffered loss so that in the eternities, we would never have to fully suffer it ourselves. I understand that sacrifice know more than ever now and I am eternally grateful for it.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Ashley, I am so sorry! Having gone through a miscarriage a year ago, I know how hard it is, and seeing and hearing about all the other babies just hurts more. I am so so sorry! You will be in my prayers, and I pray you will have a fast emotional recovery. If I had known I would have posted something entirely different. My post probably tore your heart out, and I apologize. Your husband is right, timing is so important and when these little spirits enter our lives is so important in God's plan. I wish I had gone with my first instinct and posted this quote:
    “One’s life … cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free…Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, ‘Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!’ …Real faith … is required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process.”
    Again, you are in my prayers as you go through this difficult time, and I know everything will work out for the best for your family in the end.

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  2. That is so hard! I'm sorry Ash! If it's a comfort to you, I know that at least three of the writers on this blog have been through that at least once. You seem to show a lot of perspective and maturity for what you've just gone through. ;)

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I experienced a miscarriage last April (right before Mother's Day). It was a sad and painful process. It only took 4 months before we were again expecting and the Lord has poured out so many blessings since that time. As hard as it still is for me that we lost a baby I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who could see the whole picture and knew what was best for our family. Because of our postponement to have children we will be able to meet our financial goals of paying off student loans. I was able to find two great jobs that pay great and make some contacts in my career field. Now that we are preparing for our first child to come in May I feel as though it is a more sacred experience than it originally would have been. And I am more grateful for this pregnancy each day than I probably would have been with the first. Although it is difficult, the Lord knows exactly how to polish us so that we can become perfected in the end and become like Him. Have faith and keep praying. Everyday will be a little easier.

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  4. Ashley- I'm so sorry for your loss. It truly is heartbreaking to know that your little child is no longer coming to be with you like you had planned. I have shed more tears than anyone will ever know over the loss of my little girl. I pray you will find peace in the comfort that comes from angels on the other side. And Meagan is right- after you experience a loss like that, you treasure your next pregnancy and child that much more. I'm so sorry for the heartache you are feeling right now.

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